Gentle parenting has changed the way we think about raising children, and many of its principles are deeply valuable. But there is one assumption built into the model that often goes unspoken: it assumes you are regulated enough to access those tools in difficult moments.

If you've ever known exactly how you wanted to respond to your child and found yourself reacting completely differently, this article explores why the problem may not be your parenting knowledge at all.

The world just got heavier. Maybe you saw the news about Sydney. Maybe it hit close to home, or maybe it's just the weight of knowing bad things happen and your children will need to understand that one day.

And now you're sitting with a question that doesn't have a tidy answer: What do I actually say?

Here's what I know: you don't need the perfect words. Every parenting expert who promises you a script is selling something. What you actually need is to understand what's happening in your child's body when they hear about tragedy, and how you can be the person who helps them feel safe enough to process it.